Reasons to Ride ...FROM THOSE WHO KNOW: VLTI was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis in July 1998 and began daily treatments with 60 mg of prednisone. My pulmonologist would tell you that my greatest concern was the "moonface" and weight gain. By October, I had not responded well to treatment and I was referred to another pulmonologist for a second opinion. I assumed that we would, of course, have to consider other alternatives for my medication. I saw the new doctor and he asked me about my knowledge of the disease. I told him what I had learned from my research via the internet. The focus of my study was treatments for pulmonary fibrosis, and in particular, prednisone, Cytoxan and Imuran, since those were the medication that had been mentioned as possible treatments for me. After listening patiently to me, the doctor said :let me give it to you straight. You have 6 to 24 months to live unless you have a lung transplant. There is no cure for idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, however, lung transplant have been very successful in addressing the illness…""Me? There must be some mistake. Me?" Tears blurred my vision. I was numb. What I had just heard was absolutely incredible. I came to get my prescription changed, not to receive a death notice!. I began to think about my children, my husband, my mom, my student, my friends, everything, all in a matter of seconds. Then I thought, "Well I've traveled to France, Spain, Canada, Mexico and to several parts of the US. I've been and educator, and been married 21 years. That's not so bad for 44 years of existence". I thought again "6 to 24 months". My soul was choking, and I stepped into a fog. How was I going to tell my family this? How was I going to relay this to my husband, who was in the waiting room. I felt insecurity like I never had before I my life. By November, I was totally oxygen dependent and I had to leave teaching on a disability retirement. I love teaching and working with young people. Moreover, the reality of leaving my own children was unbearable. I wondered about my mother, 73 years old, who had been living with me for the past 10 years. Mom had never imagined "out-living" her daughter. I should have lost my mind to all of this. However, I have not, neither will I. I attribute my sanity to my relationship with God and my family, prayer, "Bibliotherapy" and being able to talk to my relatives and friends about the illness. My first line of defense was merely believing and standing on the truth of selected passage os Scripture. Secondly, I read When God Doesn't Make Sense, by Dr. James Dobson. Then I drew on the strength and the power of God in me to focus on daily survival, literally one day at a time. My doctor suggested that I make a lot of memories with my family and in other areas of my life. That is a pleasure I no longer take for granted. Every day that I wake up, still breathing, I plan to make as many memories as possible. I do have many more breaths to take before I sleep. VLT
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